Okay, let’s get one thing straight: Building confidence isn’t something you can just snap into existence overnight. If you want to feel like you’ve got your life together (and I’m not talking about the “just put on clean socks” level of together), then you need to make small changes daily. Don’t worry—I’m not about to suggest some wild “you must meditate at sunrise while balancing on a yoga ball” stuff. This is all about tweaking your routine just enough to feel more like a version of yourself that you actually like.

1. Start Your Day with Positive Affirmations

The first few moments of your morning are a big deal. I learned the hard way that scrolling through Instagram first thing just feeds my insecurities—like that time I looked at a “perfect” breakfast bowl and thought, “Why didn’t I think to put chia seeds on my cereal?” Anyway, here’s the kicker: Try replacing that with some positive affirmations.

Every morning, instead of complaining about the number of socks I have to find or pretending that I won’t hit snooze five more times, I tell myself, “I’m capable. I’ve got this.” Sounds cheesy, but let me tell you, my confidence got a little bit of a boost from it. Think about it like a shot of espresso for your self-esteem.

2. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude journaling? Meh. I’m more of a “write it down or say it out loud while I’m doing the dishes” kinda person. But seriously, this works. Every night before bed, I try to remember three things that made me feel good. It could be anything—like the time my neighbor Tina gave me her secret pesto recipe (don’t ask about my disastrous first attempt at it… RIP, Gary, my plant).

Getting into the habit of looking at the bright side each day helps you see that you’re doing alright, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.

3. Set and Achieve Small Goals

Here’s a trick: Set goals you can actually finish in a day. Like, “I’m going to fold my laundry and not complain about it.” Oh, you didn’t think that counted? Trust me, it does. I once told myself I’d clean the whole kitchen in one go, but that’s the moment I realized I’m not an overachiever, I’m just someone who loses steam after 20 minutes. So I switched it up: little goals, more wins.

Each time you finish one of these mini-goals, you’ll feel that little “heck yeah” moment. You know what that does? Builds confidence, buddy.

4. Practice Self-Care

Self-care isn’t about bath bombs and face masks (though those are nice too). For me, it’s about getting enough sleep and eating real food—my version of healthy eating might involve pizza, but I’m counting it. Anyway, just taking a few minutes to care for yourself every day helps you remember that you deserve the good stuff. No one’s going to believe you’re a confident person if you look like you haven’t slept in a week (unless you’re a zombie, in which case, carry on).

One thing I noticed? When I take care of myself physically, I show up mentally, too. And that shows in how I walk into a room.

5. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Look, I get it—negative thoughts creep in like that one cousin who always needs a ride to the airport. But they don’t have to stick around. Here’s a trick: When I start thinking something like, “I’m not good enough,” I just pause and think, “Wait, when was the last time I did something that made me proud?” It doesn’t need to be a huge victory—sometimes it’s just getting out of bed after a long night.

Try it out. Shift the narrative. It works, even though I thought it was totally ridiculous at first.

6. Practice Body Language

Body language can be a game changer. The other day I noticed how I stood in line at the coffee shop, like a bag of potatoes waiting for a ride. So, I made a conscious decision: shoulders back, chin up, act like I know where I’m going. Fast forward to three days later, I caught myself standing tall at the grocery store, thinking, “Wow, I’ve got this.”

Even if you’re faking it at first, faking confidence still makes you look and feel confident. I should know—I’ve had my share of “why do I feel like a pretzel in this meeting?” moments.

7. Learn Something New Every Day

Confidence is built on knowledge and experience, y’all. I’m not saying you need to be a walking Wikipedia, but learning something new every day? That’s a wicked move. Whether you’re watching a documentary on sharks (super cool) or teaching yourself how to properly plant basil (yeah, I killed that herb garden, but I did learn something), the point is: the more you know, the more you can walk into any situation with a little extra swagger.

Bonus points if it’s a random fact, like how Victorians thought that ferns could cure madness. Seriously, I just talk to my begonias now in case.

8. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

You know how sometimes you hang out with someone and leave feeling like you could conquer the world? Or, on the flip side, sometimes you hang out with someone and feel like your entire existence is a failure? Yeah, pick your people wisely.

I made the mistake of letting negative folks around me for a while—totally drained my confidence. But when I’m with people who hype me up (like my buddy Marissa, who literally yells “You got this!” every time I say I’m not sure), that energy rubs off.

9. Celebrate Your Successes

Big or small, celebrate your wins. For a while, I used to breeze right past my accomplishments. “Yeah, I cleaned my room… so what?” Nope. Not anymore. These days, I give myself a little mental high-five after finishing something, even if it’s just getting through an inbox full of “urgent” emails.

Celebrate the small stuff, and soon enough, you’ll have built up a massive pile of confidence because you’ve recognized all the things you’ve actually achieved.

10. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

So, I used to have a massive fear of public speaking. That was, until I signed up for an impromptu speech at my friend’s wedding—hella nerve-wracking at the time, but afterward? I felt like I could take on a room of strangers without breaking a sweat.

My point? Do something scary every day. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as a wedding speech, but just push yourself. The more you do, the less the fear holds you back.

Final Thoughts

Alright, here’s the real deal: Confidence is built from tiny, everyday actions. From telling yourself you’ve got this, to learning something new, to celebrating those little wins—it’s all part of the process. Sure, it’s not an overnight fix. But trust me, if you stick to these habits, you’ll see yourself becoming the confident version of you that’s been hiding under the surface. And you’ll probably laugh about how awkward your first try at some of these things were. Spoiler alert: It gets easier.