Let’s get this out of the way first: how to build a healthy relationship with food is one of those things that can sound more like a TED talk than an actual goal. But trust me, it’s possible. I’ll be honest, though—I learned the hard way, and I’ve had my fair share of slip-ups (don’t ask me about my 2015 “juice cleanse”). But hey, if you can’t laugh at yourself, what’s the point? Anyway, here’s the kicker: building a healthy relationship with food isn’t about being perfect. It’s about understanding, forgiveness, and making peace with that extra slice of pizza when you’re actually not hungry (but it’s right there…).

What Does a Healthy Relationship with Food Really Mean?

Alright, first things first. A healthy relationship with food isn’t just about eating broccoli and avoiding sugar. Nah, it’s about balance. It’s about understanding that food is not the enemy. It’s here to nourish you, to energize you, to bring you joy. But here’s where we mess up sometimes: we’re often told food is either “good” or “bad,” and don’t even get me started on the guilt trip that follows.

When I first got into this whole “healthy relationship with food” gig, I spent way too many meals stressing about how many calories I was consuming. My mom once found me crying over a half-eaten chocolate bar in the kitchen, convinced it was going to ruin my day. (“You do realize chocolate has antioxidants, right?” she asked. Didn’t help.)

So, what does a healthy relationship actually look like? Well, it’s knowing that:

• There’s no shame in eating a slice of cake (or two).
• All foods are allowed, in moderation.
• Food should nourish your body and your soul.

When I learned how to build a healthy relationship with food, it was more about listening to what my body wanted, instead of forcing myself into a restrictive corner. Because, trust me, restriction doesn’t work—my first attempt at dieting in college ended in a full-blown late-night pizza binge, which didn’t exactly make me feel great.

Forget About Dieting: Just Ditch That Mentality

If there’s one thing I wish I’d known back in the day, it’s that diets are basically a setup for failure. Remember the time I tried the cabbage soup diet? Yeah, the less said, the better. I didn’t lose weight—I just lost a lot of friends at my dinner table.

Here’s the deal: diets that focus on restriction mess with your head. One minute you’re telling yourself you can’t have carbs, and the next thing you know, you’re devouring an entire loaf of bread because you’re “too deprived.” And you know what comes next—guilt. It’s like the food police have arrived, and you’re under arrest for a crime you didn’t even commit.

So what did I learn after years of trying the latest “weight loss trick”? A healthy relationship with food isn’t about saying “no” all the time. It’s about saying “yes” to balance. You need to make peace with food. The sooner you get there, the sooner you realize that a little pasta never hurt anyone.

Intuitive Eating: Getting Back to Basics

Okay, let me hit you with the secret sauce: intuitive eating. No, it’s not some weird health trend—it’s actually about listening to your body. And when I say “listening,” I mean really paying attention to hunger and fullness cues. I know, I know, I was the one who used to skip meals because I thought I was “too busy.” Spoiler: That’s the opposite of listening to your body.

Intuitive eating teaches you to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Seems simple, right? But trust me, it takes time. The first few times I tried it, I ended up eating three different snacks at once because, apparently, my stomach was still in the “I’m starving” mode. But once I got the hang of it, I realized that I was actually satisfied with much smaller portions.

And here’s a little nugget of wisdom for you: There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach. I’ve got friends who thrive on three square meals a day, while others do well with smaller, more frequent meals. You’ll figure out your own rhythm—just trust yourself.

Mindfulness, Baby. Food is Meant to Be Enjoyed.

Okay, confession time: I used to eat lunch while watching Netflix. Mindless, right? But here’s the thing: food should be something you enjoy. I remember the first time I actually paid attention to the flavor of a piece of dark chocolate. It was a moment. A true moment. I didn’t rush it. I wasn’t distracted. I just let the sweetness settle in.

So, yeah, mindfulness matters. Try this: the next time you eat, actually sit down and focus. Don’t scroll Instagram while you’re chewing. No phone, no distractions. Just you, your food, and a quiet moment. It might sound weird at first (trust me, I thought it was), but you’ll notice the difference. It’s about being present with the food. Don’t just eat—experience it.

Emotional Eating: Not So Simple, But Here’s How to Cope

Now, let’s talk about emotional eating. I mean, who hasn’t had a moment when chocolate was the answer to everything? (It’s okay, I’ve been there.)

The trick to building a healthy relationship with food is not relying on it to fix your emotions. And if you’re thinking, “Yeah, I know that already,” well, we all slip up. I once went through an entire pint of ice cream after a bad breakup. It didn’t help anything, but hey, it tasted good.

The goal is to find other ways to cope with emotions, especially stress. I’ve started journaling when I feel overwhelmed (shocking, right?). Or I’ll go for a walk. Exercise has been a game-changer for my stress levels—also, it helps me reset. Because food shouldn’t be your only coping mechanism.

Overcoming Guilt: Let’s End This Cycle

Guilt. It’s the worst. We’ve all felt it, right? After that extra serving of dessert, or the late-night snack. And I’m not gonna lie: I used to be the queen of guilt. If I ate something “bad,” I’d spiral. I’d try to “fix” it by cutting out entire food groups the next day. But here’s the thing: that’s no way to live.

I had to make a rule for myself: if you eat something you enjoy, don’t feel guilty about it. I repeat: don’t feel guilty. Food is not the enemy. Your worth isn’t tied to whether or not you ate an entire bag of chips at 2 a.m. (trust me, I’ve done it).

When I started letting go of guilt, I felt lighter—not physically, but mentally. And honestly, that’s where the magic happens in how to build a healthy relationship with food.

Final Thoughts: Building a New Food Story

So here’s where we wrap it up: food is a part of life, not something to fear. A healthy relationship with food is about forgiveness, balance, and listening to your body. And trust me, it’s a journey. Some days, you’ll slip up (like I did with that rogue bag of cookies), and that’s okay. Just pick yourself back up and keep going.

You deserve to feel good about your food choices, no matter what. After all, the best part of food is that it’s meant to be shared. So grab that pizza, invite your friends over, and enjoy—without guilt.